My department head didn't even bother learning my name
Content / trigger warning
We always try our best to give users the facts of each case, some of which include harmful language and descriptions of awful behaviour. The following case might be emotionally challenging to read, especially if you’re going through something similar. This can manifest feelings of discomfort and upset, among other unpleasant emotions. We encourage you to reach out to friends or family for additional support if this content is particularly distressing. These stories are not for shock value, but to give you a sense of how you could be successful. We are here to support you in your journey in fighting back against your toxic workplace.
I went from a fairly women-friendly IT department, to one which was the oldest of old school boy's club type IT department. I was brought on as a senior software developer. I didn't realise what a boy's club it was until the Head of IT came over to our bank of desks to laughingly chat with the other boys in my team about the round of golf they'd had that weekend. Never once did anyone ask if I wanted to join them. At that moment, it became clear that despite being senior in my team (my skill set is a hard one to find) the head of IT didn't know my name and wasn't really interested in finding it out.
The breaking point happened when I was sitting with one of the few women in the department (an office admin) and she got a buzz from the head of IT, for her to go get him a coffee. I couldn't BELIEVE it. Who does that in this day and age?
I asked one of my team mates who I got along with about this - was I being overly sensitive? He told me it was nothing, it was just the way the department was. That didn't sit right with me, so I started looking for work elsewhere.
I got a new job, with a higher salary. I worked on my technical skills. Then another job with a higher salary, learned some more, then ANOTHER job with a higher salary. I'm now the technical lead for a team which is both gender balanced and gender-blind, and the technical hierarchy above me is women leading for the next three levels up.
If I'd stayed there, I don't know what would have happened after the birth of my daughter. I suppose my advice would be, stay vigilant. If it looks like the environment is bad, look for a way out. Work on your own skills, if you have the time (not everyone does). Make yourself invaluable, and then try to find an employer you want to be invaluable to.
Get the free toolkit
Do you have a story like this?
Show people being treated unfairly at work that they're not alone, and what others did in similar situations.
Share your story to help others like you.
Share your story