I nearly came out as trans at work, then heard awful transgender slurs

I started a new job in the food and drink industry, and got to know people quickly - because I worked hard and stayed out of the workplace politics, my managers liked me and very soon stopped watching what they would say in my vicinity. Because they saw me as 'on their side' they would regularly criticise and insult my coworkers behind their backs, call customers sexist and racist names, and openly play favourites with the staff roster.

Slurs against transgender people

One day, a manager started talking about a trans woman who had recently interviewed for a job with the company, and almost immediately it became a slew of vicious insults, slurs, and incredibly personal, nasty comments about the woman's appearance, body, lifestyle, sexual history, etc. I am transgender myself and had been struggling over whether to come out at work before this happened.

Hearing this, I excused myself to the stockroom and spoke with one of my colleagues, who knew about my situation and had heard all the manager's invective. We discussed what could be done, but as the whole management team regularly took part in the same nasty culture, there wasn't anybody we felt we could complain to without jeopardising our jobs.

What I did

We spoke to the rest of the floor team about what was going on - most people were already aware of the culture problem - and many of us left the company. I handed in my notice and was gone two weeks later. It's been just over a year since then and the management team are the same, but they seem incapable of holding onto staff.

Looking back

Many people in the industry will be eager to convince you that bullying, racism, misogyny, homophobia etc. are just 'part of the culture' and shouldn't be taken seriously - that you should grow a thicker skin or a sense of humour. It's simply not true. It harms real people, it encourages callousness towards customers and coworkers, and sooner or later it ALWAYS becomes personal. Trust your gut and treat the 'jokes' as symptoms of a real underlying problem.

Supporting each other

My coworkers were wonderful people who were aware of the culture problem and equally disgusted by it. When things got out of hand we were all able to come together and discuss a solution, and we supported each other both emotionally and over the course of hunting for new jobs. When management are toxic, solidarity with your colleagues is irreplaceable.

Add your story to our anonymous library

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Your story will remain anonymous

We hand-check every story before it goes live to make sure you're not posting any identifiable details. We only ask for very high-level information about your country and industry, and never want you to share your name or your employer's name. We have taken other steps to ensure your privacy - we don't use Google or Facebook tracking on this website. While we do need an email address to contact you about your story, we encourage you to use a temporary email address if you have any privacy concerns.

ABOUT US

About Valla

Valla is on a mission to make legal support affordable for everyone. Injustice happens every day in the UK and the truth is, most people can't afford to do anything about it.

We want to change that, starting with unfair treatment at work. Even a simple tribunal case can cost £6,000 or more in solicitor's fees, which most people can't afford. Instead, more and more people are representing themselves at employment tribunal and need help. Our tool helps collect your evidence, create the documents you need and know what the next step is at tribunal.

A low-cost way to make an employment claim

It shouldn't cost thousands to stand up to your employer.  Valla helps you file a grievance or claim against your employer without the costly legal fees.

Get started →